i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
So drunk its hurt
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
