absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize
