is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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