he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
