Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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