i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Randomize
