This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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