i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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