You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
