The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
