I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
