You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
