I'm going to jail i love you
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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