He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
