How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
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