I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
