So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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