The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
How does one acquire holy water?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
