No, drunk sperm still make babies.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Randomize