I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize