Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i dont even know how to be here
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
