You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
