im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
dude. I can hear the air.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
