I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
