I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
ugly people sure do ruin things
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
