everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Randomize
