dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
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