life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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