like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Sorry about my life...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
