like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
