Well apparently he's into motor boating.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
