Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
It's rum buckets o'clock
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
