there were more penises there than on chat roulette
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
