I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Randomize
