question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
