they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
