Have you finally orgasmed yet?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
