she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
