Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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