I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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