Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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