Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
