It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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