so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Randomize
