I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
