he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
