all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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