you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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