Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Randomize
