seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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