was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
