even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Randomize
