I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
