I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
