You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
