ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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