you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
He had one of those small greek statue penises
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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