im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
