I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
