he thought i was a dude.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
