Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
