i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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