kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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