Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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