it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
