I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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