I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
