I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Randomize
