I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
