I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
